Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
