So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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