So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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