Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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