Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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