see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
