Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she looked like the before picture.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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