Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
