Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
