no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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