I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
