I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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