But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize