"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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