These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
