Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
