when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
