My sheets look like a crime scene.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
