I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
