I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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