you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
