i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
