If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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