It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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