the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Small penises have feelings too.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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