All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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