6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize