I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
