i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
