standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
