that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
