So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
