An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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