I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
