Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize