I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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