I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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