On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I look better un-naked...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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