If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
