I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
