so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
