I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
