So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dicks are not precious.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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