You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
