Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
