I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
