So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
