I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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