Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
