Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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