Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
