Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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