I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize