I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
