dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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